When did it happen? How did it happen so quickly? The giggly high of new love, the sighs and lows, the curiosity lending itself to exploring uncharted territory. Yep, the signs were all there. I was a loving Carbs, one processed grain at a time. Oh, I tried to act cool but carbs was cooler, reeling me in like the proverbial donkey with the carrot on a string. In my case, though, it was a chip on a string – but I digress. What was worse was that I was willing to be led.
Let’s face it – this was nothing like my disastrous horror show with Sugar, I told myself. Sugar had thought only of its sweet self, never taking my feelings into account. I became horribly ill while with Sugar. This was so different. Carbohydrate was so attentive and I never lacked for anything. Sure I had highs and lows but that’s typical of new love with emotions running high – right? That little knee pain that I was beginning to feel was just because we had been spending so much time together and I had been neglecting myself. Sure, I felt a bit befuddled but they always say that new love makes you giddy. The racing pulse, headaches and yeast overgrowth that produced ringworm and rashes – I assured myself that they were from personal neglect. How right was I?
One day, while waiting for Carbs’ first delivery of the day (we had a routine, by then), I was struck by the fact that I was drumming my fingers and tapping things, very much the way that I did when Sugar was in my life. Disgusted by the memory and determined to vanquish the ghost once and for all, I pulled a napkin towards me and began to list the differences between my new beau and my ex, fully expecting that sweet devil to come up sadly lacking.
Twenty-five minutes and several napkins later, I was flummoxed, floored, flabbergasted, even! The two were close cousins! They were too alike for it to be coincidental. They had to be very closely related. Ah but they weren’t cousins – no; they were brothers.
I was stunned! No wonder I had felt so comfortable with this comforting cretin; the playbook was the same as the sly sweet-talker’s! I had been duped.
Did I cause a scene? No. The fault was mine. I had not taken the time to know Carbs before bringing my heart into play. I knew that I would not beg or plead because going back to who I was with Sugar was out of the question. Did I cry? No but I did, as they say, get Carbs “real good.” I exposed that callous conniver to the public and threw the sweet sloth in, for good measure. No more will they lead anyone astray and tag-team to wreak havoc. No more!
I’ve done my part. What will you do?